Tuesday, December 18, 2018

"B" This Christmas

" C is for Cookie,  that's good enough for me"  - Cookie Monster

According to Cookie Monster, one of my heroes, the letter "C" is easy. If only us humans made Christmas as easy. The letter "B" often infiltrates Christmas - busy, buying, bombarded, bewildered, blitzen (not the reindeer, but the feeling of being rushed). Bending over backwards has become the expectation; basking in glory has become boggled.

So, on this Christmas, breathe.  Rather that bear it, balance it. Has your mind been blown in the bonanza? As Eeyore says, "Oh, bother". If the buzz or beat of Christmas has become bonkers, be brave - break away. Build up family and friendships. Believe in your community. Blog positive. Brew ideas. Bury hatchets. Return hatchets if you are inexperienced with hatchets.

I'll be back blogging in 2019 - to boost, brighten, and bolster.

Merry Christmas.

"B is for Blessed, that's good enough for me"


Sunday, December 9, 2018

It's Beginning to Look A lot Like Christmas...For Parents.

The 2nd weekend of December is a wonderful time to fully wrap one's gingerbread head around the following:

Lightyears away from the Sit-Still Dinner

With a daughter turning 4 in January and her sister turning 2 in March, my wife and I are used to tossing and turning at suppertime. And "time" is a real brain and belly buster. There does not really feel like a true beginning or end to dinner. I'm usually trying to accelerate through the feeding, while my wife leap frogs around the table, the floor, or whatever other surface we find ourselves feasting upon. Our girls do not priortize dinner. In fact, I'm not sure they acknowledge it as a legitimate meal. Breakfast, lunch, snack.

On Friday night, we traveled to the Boulevard Grill. It was my wife's work's Christmas party. It was a merry room of family, friends, co-workers, and our children. Toy Story 2 and then Toy Story 3 were the feature films during this culinary conquest. It kept our daughters' attention and gave us precious time to dine. We could have asked the waitress to turn the TV off so we could fully enjoy conversation without any mass media distractions.

We didn't do that because we are not insane.

The opening sequence to Toy Story 3 is one of the greatest intros in the history of cinema.


Home Invasion

When I was a kid, elves stayed at the North Pole. There was an allure. There was a magical disconnect between man and elf. Now - in times like these - I wish I did not have a shelf.

There Will Be Blood

We entered a friend's home for a Christmas Pajama Party on Saturday night. Kids ate sugar for dinner and ran around. Parents told stories, ranging from cute to horror, loosely monitoring the children. As the sugar kicked in and bedtime drew near, the children became savages. Think Lord of the Files with Santa.

Inevitably, a 3-year-old girl got a bloody lip. How she "got" it is not exactly known due to the loose supervision and the fact that savages lack integrity.


There Will Be Cantaloupe

Kids love fruit. At the end of the Pajama Party, only one fruit remained. The Cantaloupe. Cantaloupe at a 4th of July picnic? I'm in. Cantaloupe at Christmas?  I watched the hostess shovel it right into the garbage can. Can you imagine a parent doing that to blueberries?  No, because that would draw outrage from both parents and kids:

"Oh my goodness, she just threw out blueberries?  Should we go see if she is okay?"

Overall, it was a great fruit spread. My soon-to-be 2- year- old ate the last raspberries, strawberries, and blackberries. You know how people hesitate to finish a dish at a party?  She isn't one of those people.

Remember she was one of the savages in the room when blood was shed.

There Will Be USA Today

The Pajama Party played off the idea of breakfast for dinner, which was genius, even if my kids do not understand what "dinner" truly is. Their Webster definition of dinner is:

Dinner (Noun, aka Annoyance): a designated thing from my parents that doesn't make any sense and is a thing I am going to make difficult.

The Pajama meal was a great breakfast or dinner or thing. I joked about the idea of having newspapers available next year to reduce the "loose" supervision to "no" supervision. "Sorry kids, I am reading my favorite section of the USA Today. That page where you read about one thing that has happened in each state. Now, go downstairs and wrestle like there's no tomorrow."


For today - for all parents - be thankful for your children and all the blessings that make Christmas a jolly good time.














Saturday, December 1, 2018

Fa La La La La Fever

"Twas the night before December, amoxicllin all through the house
Our children were stirring like two crazy ruffed grouse 
The stockings were hung, there were clothes all over the floor
Me hopes that a cleaning service walks through thy front door
No one was nestled, No one was snug
We all could use a big fat Santa hug 
Visions of sugar plums were not in our heads 
Why are there stickers in all of our beds?
Mom does not have a kerchief, I have a thinking cap
Let us all try to take an all-as-one glorious nap
Our brains are unsettled, there is nonsensical chatter
Mom is making pierogies to put on a platter
The girls run around, frolicking in a flash
The youngest is stricken with some sort of rash
The moon is out, thank God there is not snow
Sunday in the 60s? Golfing I go?
When, what to my wandering eyes should appear
But, a miniature sleigh and eight tiny reindeer
With a little old driver, so lively and quick
I'm hallucinating, we surely are sick!
More rapid than an eagle, I swear that he came
He whistled, and shouted, "Dad, you're insane!"
Now Dasher! Now Dancer! Now Prancer! Now Vixen!
We must leave now, I do not have the power for fixin
Good luck, Santa said as he took off from the porch
It feels like Survivor, everyone grab their torch
Goodbye Santa, we will see you on Christmas Day
We will be back to full health, this I do pray
God has been good to us, and for that we are blessed
The life of a parent, grateful and stressed
Goodnight Johnstown, may your December be merry and bright
Always be thankful, for each day brings new light