February started with a dishonest groundhog and who knows how it will end. Based off of recent weather patterns, Johnstown could get rain, snow, sleet, or an asteroid. Alas, here is my Top 10 for what we have endured and what we have learned.
#10 "The Claw"
Inside our house, movie selection is a passionate enterprise. Often, our children make the selection and watch the same movie repeatedly in order to fully evaluate the cinematography. This film pattern could last months. Our soon-to-be-2-year-old is really into Toy Story at this point in her life, a movie she calls "Buzz". Woody would be so mad.
The most unrealistic part of Toy Story is the claw machine scene. Sid, evil neighbor child, goes 2 for 2 in extracting a toy from the claw machine. Has anyone ever gone 2 for 2 at the claw machine? Not only does this set unrealistic expectations for children, it is fiscally irresponsible for parents. $1.00 for a 20 second attempt to capture a 75 cent stuffed animal? Also, that claw doesn't even shut. It's a loose handshake.
Multiple times during February I watched one dollar bills disappear. My children were left disappointed and I blamed Pixar for their disappointment.
#9 Lunar New Year
According to the Google calendar on my phone, February 5th was the Lunar New Year. I do not remember celebrating this event nor do I know what I would have been celebrating. I'm guessing it involves the moon and that we were watching Toy Story during this astronomical phenomenon.
#8 Parents O Plenty
My wife and I made a Sunday drive to Bedford during the 2nd weekend of February. Our children, bless their little hearts, were not in the Subaru. They were under grandparental supervision. Thus, my wife and I enjoyed a brunch at Horn O Plenty, an excellent farm to table restaurant. Eating meals with the kids at home is comparable to working on a farm; a lot of tools needed, it gets dirty and sweaty, and there is a surround sound of barnyard noises.
On this Sunday, we dined. It was quiet. It was clean. It was glorious.
#7 Billboard O Dear
On that same day trip, my wife and I were struck by a monstrous billboard in the Bedford sky. It asked, "Are you going to heaven or hell?" It had a number to call. I had so many questions. Who answers the phone? Do you just pick one or do you have to explain? Are results tallied? Does the person answering the phone have to share their answer?
Sometimes the best way to stay positive is to laugh - no matter where you think you are going to end up.
#6 "Galentine's Day"
My wife announced she was participating in a sexist movement known as Galentine's Day. I responded by letting her know I was having Dadentine's Day at home with the kids in protest. She went to Balance for spirits and spirited conversation amongst women. I held down the fort and explained to my girls how a man has to make fire in order to keep his family alive.
#5 Valentine's Day Breakfast
The next morning, my wife and I went to Flood City Cafe for breakfast and rekindled our romance. The warm glow of a fire was near our table. I did not start the fire, but I could have.
#4 Fitbruary
When fitness and February meet, you get Fitbruary. Just like Galetine, it's not a real word, but its catchy. My wife and I are still going yoga strong. On one February Saturday, I joined her for a yoga class at Crossfit Excursion in downtown Johnstown. I went from my private living room studio to a public realm of restoration. Thank you, Jill. It was fun, energizing, and made me want to come back for more. Our family will no longer be putting money into "The Claw" because we need to save cash for "The Crossfit". Sorry, kids. Namaste.
#3 Nonviolent Pinata
I had the pleasure of participating in a 4-year-old's birthday party at Hogue's Fun Factory. Doing a Crossfit workout would be a good parenting warm-up to entering Hogue's - seismic blast of colors, children everywhere, bouncy castles, bouncy pits, bouncy slides, and bouncy germs.
During the climactic end, there was a pinata - with pullstrings. I don't know who invented this change-up to the pinata challenge, but was a game changer:
Pinata Board Member: "I've been thinking about this a lot. Isn't it time to take the bat out of children's hands"
Pinata Board Member 2: "Why? What? That's the thrill. Swing the bat. Feel dangerous."
Pinata Board Member: "I think we are overselling the bat. It's the candy they want. Let's just pull some strings and get parents home."
#2 Nonviolent Warriors
My kids are really responding to American Ninja Warrior workouts inside our house. When the weather outside is frightful, ninja rampaging is so delightful. We roll on the floor, jump on pillows, do jumping jacks, yell, laugh, and cheer on Spring. In March, we hope to be in the backyard, getting grass stains and breaking twigs over our legs.
#1 Nonviolent Polish
This Saturday is Copernicus Night at the Boulevard Grill. It is a night to celebrate Poland and the achievements of Nicolaus Coperncius. It is a night to get a baby sitter. If you have no idea what Copernicus Night is, like the Lunar New Year, just get a baby sitter and drive to 165 Southmont Boulevard in Johnstown, Pennsylvania.
Next Friday will be March. It will be sunny and warm and the groundhog will regain some trust.
