Cambria County Camel Community College (CCCCC)

Education has gone haywire. So, now is the perfect time to initiate and promote the Cambria County Camel Community College, a nonprofit adventure from my imagination. Throughout 2020 I have created Animal of the Day academia to stimulate the brains of my 5-year-old and 3-year-old daughters. Without further ado, here is my lesson plan and lessons learned from the last hoorah of our 2020 home schoolhouse. 

I prepared a camel dedicated day for the ages. Camels have survived the test of the time so let's get biblical to start. Camels are referenced in Genesis and travel throughout the Old Testament; the methodical wanderers of the desert. This humped herbivore has fascinated humans for centuries. The true test for this Dad was to capture the minds and hearts of two impatient, homebound pupils. 

I led with a cartoon "We Three Kings" video. Not exactly pump-up music, but seasonally solid and a clear visual honoring the camel. I quoted Genesis, "their camels carrying aromatic gum, balsam, and resin, going down to Egypt" and continued by identifying gold, frankincense, and myrrh as the first Christmas gifts. I was ill-prepared for my 5-year-old's questions. I did not put any research into balsam. I brushed off her interrogation with a simple summary: 3 dudes carrying good smelling stuff plus gold to Jesus. What does an infant do with gold?  He invests it. That's what he does. 

Onward to the first worksheet. Working together, my girls completed written work focused on the number 3 in honor of those traverse afar Kings. Upon completion, we watched a video clip that answered the question, "What is inside a camel's hump?" That weird mammal mound is not full of gold. It is actually a hump of fat. It is believed that a camel's hump can store up to 80 pounds of fat! This mini-mountain provides the fuel for camels to trek in some of the harshest places on Earth. 

For parents, school from home can be harsh. But out of the burden, a blessing has risen like that glorious camel hump. The experience has sparked my creativity. It has made me appreciate teachers now more than ever. And most of all, I got to spend time with my girls. Without leaving home, we traveled the world and learned about many of God's wild and wonderful creatures. 

If I told a camel 2020 has been like chewing on a cactus, the response would be: "Yum, sounds delicious". Just do the common Youtube search "camel eating a cactus" and watch prickly plant dining. Evolution and survival at its finest. Camels have developed the ability to chew through the pain in order to get nutrients that help sustain their desert marches. My girls were locked in to this sloppy and awkward meal. 2020 has been quite prickly and awkward. I'm determined to power through the prickly. We march on. Grateful for surviving. Ready for some 2021 thriving. 

Our next worksheet was focused on the number 2, representative of the sisterly schoolhouse bond. My girls have had heartwarming moments and coldblooded quarrels in this academic year. Tears of all kinds - sorrow, joy, delirium, laughter - have been shared by Mom, Dad, and children. Through it all, the number 2 stands strong. It takes 2 to make a marriage work. It takes 2 to overcome the quarrels and stick together when times get tough. It takes 2 to participate in a camel race. 

The mind-blowing apex of my camel curriculum was a BBC video on how present day, high stakes Arabian camels race. Imagine driving your car on the highway. A caravan of camels is speeding along side of you. You have a handheld radio trying to communicate with your favorite camel. You are still responsible for driving a vehicle. You look insane. Your camel hears you. He has a robot on his hump. You are a jockey in an SUV. You believe your camel can speed up. Lazy camel. Using your electronics, you can activate a whip on the robot. 

It is astonishing. Watch it. Even in the most ancient and remote locations on the planet, technology is taking over. Trying to find balance in the tech boom is not easy. It sometimes feels like I'm running in the middle of a camel caravan, on the verge of getting trampled by technology. I just got to keep my feet moving. Keep my family focused on the positive. Avoid being whipped by robots. 

Could you imagine if the 3 Kings had this option? 

First King: "Listen, I've been riding camels for years, I think its time we send the robots. Also, I think I'm allergic to myrrh."

Second King: "Agreed. If the robot can find the yonder star, I'm going to find the yonder couch."

Third King: "For the love of field and fountain, I don't even know who you guys are anymore"

In honor of robots taking over the world, my girls worked together to complete a color the number art project. The picture, a robot, went from colorless and lifeless to a rainbow symbol of sister power. With the adrenaline pumping, we transitioned to dance to an animated video of "Walk Like A Camel". Our living room became a camel night club. It got wonderfully weird. I hurt my lower back earlier in the week so my camel dances were authentic. My camel walk was not a choice. It was a sign that the sun is setting on my athletic prowess.

But, we all need humbled. Even, Yosemite Sam. Our final lesson of Cambria County Camel Community College was Yosemite Sam riding a camel...with a shotgun. For the record, I am not a certified teacher. Anyway, Sam is commanding his camel to no avail. He starts raging and bopping his poor camel in the brain. Meanwhile, Bugs Bunny is relaxing in a desert swimming pool. Sam is going berserk. His camel runs away. Shots are fired. Bugs laughs in the distance.

2021 is not that far away. This will be my last blog of the year. 6 months ago, I wrote a blog letter to 2020 hoping that the year would ease up. Looking back on it all, there have been many Yosemite Sam moments. Our family has had to wander the desert to find the Bugs Bunny paradise time and time again. 

I don't feel the need to write 2020 an end of the year letter. I just want to say "Thank You". 

And if paradise was easy to reach, then maybe it wouldn't be paradise. Sometimes you have to chew cactus and wash it down with a gallon of gratitude. 

My girls graduated from Animal of the Day School 2020. I'm proud of them. I'm proud of us. 

God Bless America. God Bless Camels. God Bless Robots.

MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR!

The Better Call

 At some point during 2020 we needed legal advice. Our lives had become a cluster and cyclone of chaos. We lost track of time and maybe our careers and sometimes our children. Bursts of enthusiasm were often followed by waves of disappointment. We tried to explain to our kids what we could not understand ourselves. If time was of the essence, we could not even define the word essence. The utterance of "new normal" was like an eternal hiccup. I, myself, have become vomitus to all that is virtual. 

And then we started binge watching Better Call Saul. The immense mission to get our children to bed was followed by a commitment to Saul Goodman, tormented and imperfect like all of us. While I often write about human connection, faith, family, and shared experience, sometimes you just need a good fictious lawyer. Escapism is the tendency to seek distraction and relief from unpleasant realities. Enter Saul, living in New Mexico, The Land of Enchantment. 

There is an undeniable harshness to what we are experiencing. Connection, faith, family and shared experience have been in a heavyweight fight with isolation, doubt, politics, and separation. And we never thought it would go this many rounds. Never thinking that the next calendar year would still cast this formidable shadow.

So, when I am watching Saul I know I am not making a difference. I'm not doing the world a lick of good watching Goodman. It could be argued I am wasting the time that is allegedly of the essence. I greatly wish to travel to The Land of Enchantment one day but for now I am relegated to recliner and dreaming. It feels safe. The phrase "abundance of caution" has become the nauseating spawn of "new normal". "Oh look honey, New Normal had her baby! She named her Abundance of Caution!" 

But, I think we all need to escape every now and then. We all need exit strategies to endure the unknown. Right now, my wife and I, have invested in Saul. We are on Season 2 and if you spoil anything I will be greatly upset. Let me stay enchanted and may my girls sleep through the night. 

And when they awake, I stand grateful for the sunrise. Am I happy that the Elf is back on the Shelf? No, no I am not. Am I growing impatient and insane? Yes, to impatient. Difficult to determine one's own sanity. 

For now, I'll watch Better Call Saul. I'll believe that there are better days ahead. I am blessed to live where I do with the people that I love. 

Stay strong, Johnstown. Goodnight.