40 Hours Without Mom

On the last Friday of April, my wife departed for a bachelorette party weekend. Twas the dominion of Dad until Sunday morning. Buckle your seat belts. Remember to buckle your children's (at one point on Saturday, my 4-year-old had to remind me that she was not buckled yet). And away, we, go:

Dine @ DQ

Hot eats, Cool treats. Our grand opening to the weekend was a 4:30 PM dinner at Dairy Queen. I actually saw another Dad I know with his two children doing the same thing. I did not even say anything to him. Without any verbal or nonverbal communication, we were locked in to the same Dad early-bird supper strategy.

You know your social life is on fire when you are having a banana split cool treat at 5 PM on a Friday.

Run Them into the Ground 

My hope was to conquer some outdoor adventure post-DQ, but Mother Nature was cold, windy, and rainy. Alas, we drove to the Johnstown Galleria to ride the elevator and escalator. There is also a jungle gym on the lower level that my daughters explored. This climbing complex is tough for a 2-year-old. My youngest needed help getting to the top. Luckily, her 4-year-old sister was eager to help. Imagine a farmer tossing a hay bale.

During this play time, a young boy asserted himself into this sister act. He often made strange, loud noises with googily eyes. I had to entrust my 4-year-old in taking responsibility for her sister and not handing her over to this unidentified extremist. At one point, my wisest politely called him an "idiot".

I did not have time to explain that boys do have an idiotic nature. I did explain that calling someone an "idiot" is not recommended, especially at dangerous heights, especially with your hay bale sister on the expedition.

Buy A Cannon

Before leaving the mall, we bought a minature cannon from Rare Collectibles. It is hard for me to describe why we bought the cannon or what it looks like carrying a cannon out of the mall while trying to herd your daughters to the parking lot. But, we did it.

We bought a cannon, Mom. Top that.

Watch Stuart Little

We ended Friday night with a screening of the 1999 film, Stuart Little. The oldest daughter fell asleep. Then, I fell asleep. Then, the youngest fell off the couch. Then, she regained her composure. Then, she fell asleep.

Stuart Little is a strange movie. Geena Davis and Hugh Laurie adopt a mouse and introduce him to their son as his brother. This is more preposterous than buying a mini-cannon and screaming "Cannon ball coming" on the drive home with your children.


Dash for Donuts

Saturday started with sweet victory. For the third consecutive year, I was awarded a trophy for the Fastest Stroller in the Indiana Donut Dash. In 2017 and 2018, my eldest daughter took the title with me. This year, my 2-year-old donut devourer was my running partner. I ran for 3.1 miles while she slept in the stroller for 3.1 miles. We both ate donuts for glory.

If the Golden State Warriors win the NBA title this summer, it will be the 2nd most impressive 3-PEAT in modern sports.

Discover a Park 

In the afternoon, our tribe of three combined with cousins and attended a park in New Florence. This was new territory for my family. There is always an adrenaline rush to going to a new park. Will the swings be squeaky? Will there be a climbing wall? What new activities are in store?

There are see-saws at the New Florence park.  They were built in the 1800s by frontiersman Daniel Boone. Proceed with caution.

Side Note: Search "Two James Taylors on a Seesaw" on YouTube. That's one of our family's favorites.


Nap Hard

On the drive home from New Florence, both girls fell asleep. This gave me time to unload them at my parents' house and watch golf in the abode I grew up in. I achieved immense satisfaction watching TV golf. That sentence is the purest of Dad comments.

Eat your heart out, Stuart Little.

Party Hard

I invited multiple Dads over to my house on Saturday night. Two of them (God bless them and America) accepted the invite. One brought his two children. The other came a free man. In total, the house had 3 Dads and 4 children, not a great ratio, but survivable.

When it was all said and done, it looked like a bomb went off in our basement. Correction - it looked like a cannon went off.

Welcome Mom 

On Sunday morning, Mom was back. The house looked a little different, but the love was the same. It was a a great sequence of events with my children. They keep me dashing and dancing. They keep me forever young. They keep me yearning for TV golf every now and then.

Easter Top 10

With a 4-year-old and 2-year-old, nothing can really prepare you for Easter. It is a seismic bunny blast. The 2019 standout moments are as follows:

10. Better Living Room 

On Good Friday, we decided to rearrange our living room. This conquest, led by my wife, required teamwork and dexterity. There was a lot of suspense moving the love seat. Anything could have been under there - goldfish, Swedish fish, Nemo, a real fish. No fish were found. There was a broken plastic egg and a wrapped cough drop. It looked like a chick hatched and did not follow doctor's orders, leaving the cough drop and fleeing the living room. 

9.  Friday Night Lights 

To conclude Friday, my wife fled our house to spend time with some visiting family. I stayed in the new look living room with the rugrats. I watched NBA basketball while they used the IPAD to nurture their minds. I typically do not support IPAD use for the kiddos, but it was the playoffs and I knew the weekend was going to be a gauntlet. Everyone won. 

8. Race Rabbits

On Saturday morning, we all participated in the Wings of Hope, a 5K race in Richland. This race has become a family Easter tradition. The previous two years, I ran with the stroller, pushing my oldest and wisest. This year, I was a free running man. My wife did the 5K walk and pushed the double stroller like a bunny beast. I started the race with bunny ears, but due to gale force winds, I had to abandon my hare hearing. Thanks to all the event's organizers and volunteers. Another Wings of Hope in the bunny books!

7. Playground Hop 

On the way home from the race, we stopped at Arbutus Park playground, a real gem in the Johnstown playground circuit. It has a climbing wall, monkey bars, and a bunch of obstacles to almost get hurt on. Of course, there are swings. My kids could live on swings. Earlier in the week, my 4-year-old fell asleep on a swing. I kept pushing her, not realizing she fell asleep. Then, she fell on the wood chips. Then, I got scared. Then, she just got up, made a brief whimper, and asked for help getting back on. 

That's one tough rabbit. 

6. Easter Saturday Nap 

We all got to sleep after the Arbutus park pandemonium. My kids probably dreamed about all the candy they would soon receive. I dreamed about no one giving them candy and providing funds for college. 

5. Egg Dying Party 

That sounds bad. "Egg Dying Party". The funny thing is we attended a party to dye eggs and the table was covered in newspaper. One of the sections - obituaries. Now, that really is an Egg Dying Party. 

It was actually a great experience because the decorating of eggs on Saturday night was a trip down memory lane. I reunited with neighbors who once hosted this event when I was a kid. Eggs were dyed and a tradition lives on. 

4. Easter Vigil 

My wife and I attended the Easter Vigil mass at Our Mother of Sorrows at 8:30 PM. We did not take our children because we are not lunatics. The mass starts with a fire, leads to handheld candles, and ends 2+ hours later. We almost did not survive Dumbo so our girls have to wait a few years before Easter Vigil is in their wheelhouse. 

3. Easter Mass

Before 9:30 AM mass at Saint Michael's on Easter morning, our girls were in the pew, playing with toys, creating biblical scenes. At one point, Jesus, Peter, Buzz, and Woody were together in some sort of traveling discipleship. You can get away with this at Easter morning mass. It's cute. Easter Vigil? Not so much. 

2. Easter Nap 

They both fell asleep during mass. This was the most shocking moment of Easter. Did they already have a sugar crash? What did we do right? I thanked Jesus, Peter, Buzz and Woody as I held my 4-year-old. At the end of mass, my heart was full and my arms were numb. 

1. Rabbit Yard 

We hopped from house to house on Easter and the defining moment was watching kids in the midst of Easter hysteria. In a backyard on Coon Ridge Road, it was like the children's version of One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. Kids were wandering the yard, some talking to themselves. There was a kid climbing a tree. My oldest daughter was sitting on a large bouncy ball by a large pile of tree limbs. My youngest daughter was hunting for eggs with her hands behind her back, wearing sunglasses. It was overcast and she just wanted people to place chocolate in her mouth. There were random things to throw - oversized frisbee, football, and of course sticks. 

In the end, we made it back home. Easter exhaustion was upon us. Our living room, cleaned on Friday, was now a mess to make more memories.