40 Hours Without Mom

On the last Friday of April, my wife departed for a bachelorette party weekend. Twas the dominion of Dad until Sunday morning. Buckle your seat belts. Remember to buckle your children's (at one point on Saturday, my 4-year-old had to remind me that she was not buckled yet). And away, we, go:

Dine @ DQ

Hot eats, Cool treats. Our grand opening to the weekend was a 4:30 PM dinner at Dairy Queen. I actually saw another Dad I know with his two children doing the same thing. I did not even say anything to him. Without any verbal or nonverbal communication, we were locked in to the same Dad early-bird supper strategy.

You know your social life is on fire when you are having a banana split cool treat at 5 PM on a Friday.

Run Them into the Ground 

My hope was to conquer some outdoor adventure post-DQ, but Mother Nature was cold, windy, and rainy. Alas, we drove to the Johnstown Galleria to ride the elevator and escalator. There is also a jungle gym on the lower level that my daughters explored. This climbing complex is tough for a 2-year-old. My youngest needed help getting to the top. Luckily, her 4-year-old sister was eager to help. Imagine a farmer tossing a hay bale.

During this play time, a young boy asserted himself into this sister act. He often made strange, loud noises with googily eyes. I had to entrust my 4-year-old in taking responsibility for her sister and not handing her over to this unidentified extremist. At one point, my wisest politely called him an "idiot".

I did not have time to explain that boys do have an idiotic nature. I did explain that calling someone an "idiot" is not recommended, especially at dangerous heights, especially with your hay bale sister on the expedition.

Buy A Cannon

Before leaving the mall, we bought a minature cannon from Rare Collectibles. It is hard for me to describe why we bought the cannon or what it looks like carrying a cannon out of the mall while trying to herd your daughters to the parking lot. But, we did it.

We bought a cannon, Mom. Top that.

Watch Stuart Little

We ended Friday night with a screening of the 1999 film, Stuart Little. The oldest daughter fell asleep. Then, I fell asleep. Then, the youngest fell off the couch. Then, she regained her composure. Then, she fell asleep.

Stuart Little is a strange movie. Geena Davis and Hugh Laurie adopt a mouse and introduce him to their son as his brother. This is more preposterous than buying a mini-cannon and screaming "Cannon ball coming" on the drive home with your children.


Dash for Donuts

Saturday started with sweet victory. For the third consecutive year, I was awarded a trophy for the Fastest Stroller in the Indiana Donut Dash. In 2017 and 2018, my eldest daughter took the title with me. This year, my 2-year-old donut devourer was my running partner. I ran for 3.1 miles while she slept in the stroller for 3.1 miles. We both ate donuts for glory.

If the Golden State Warriors win the NBA title this summer, it will be the 2nd most impressive 3-PEAT in modern sports.

Discover a Park 

In the afternoon, our tribe of three combined with cousins and attended a park in New Florence. This was new territory for my family. There is always an adrenaline rush to going to a new park. Will the swings be squeaky? Will there be a climbing wall? What new activities are in store?

There are see-saws at the New Florence park.  They were built in the 1800s by frontiersman Daniel Boone. Proceed with caution.

Side Note: Search "Two James Taylors on a Seesaw" on YouTube. That's one of our family's favorites.


Nap Hard

On the drive home from New Florence, both girls fell asleep. This gave me time to unload them at my parents' house and watch golf in the abode I grew up in. I achieved immense satisfaction watching TV golf. That sentence is the purest of Dad comments.

Eat your heart out, Stuart Little.

Party Hard

I invited multiple Dads over to my house on Saturday night. Two of them (God bless them and America) accepted the invite. One brought his two children. The other came a free man. In total, the house had 3 Dads and 4 children, not a great ratio, but survivable.

When it was all said and done, it looked like a bomb went off in our basement. Correction - it looked like a cannon went off.

Welcome Mom 

On Sunday morning, Mom was back. The house looked a little different, but the love was the same. It was a a great sequence of events with my children. They keep me dashing and dancing. They keep me forever young. They keep me yearning for TV golf every now and then.