"No" Vember

For those of you that have been a 2-year-old, are a 2-year-old, or are raising a 2-year-old (that should cover all my readers), then you are familar with "No". It is the 2-word chorus of the 2-year-old.

However, rebuttals and rebellion come in much more provocative ways. For instance:

"Stop acting like a child".

My 2-year-old daughter told me that today. Notice there is "no" exclamation on that sentence. She looked me dead in the eyes and made that statement. She made that statement because I asked her to not stand on the toilet seat when attempting to wash her hands. As her body dangerously dangled over the sink, her heartbeat never changed, like some seasoned scuba diver wanting me to just leave her to her practice. There she was, seconds away from cracking her jaw on the faucet telling me:

"Stop acting like a child."

Last weekend, I was running like a grown man. Every November, since 2012, I run in the 5-mile Morley's Run. "No" body questions my authority from Westmont to downtown Johnstown. I was really happy with my time. The next day I discovered that a 60-year-old man finished a place ahead of me. This fact could have robbed me of my happiness, but I've lost to a wide variety of runners before in my racing career; most notably to a 9-year-old named Natasha way back in 2007 ("Stop acting like an Olympian, Natasha)."

Yes, I remember it vividly. That's how PTSD works.

Anyway, congratulations to all the runners, volunteers, and supporters of Morely's Run. As long as my legs work and my house is crazy, I'll be at the Morley's starting line each autumn.

Now, let's run back to the toilet.

Our society has tried to glamorize going to the bathroom by deeming it "potty training". First, "potty" is an uncomfortable word. It doesn't make the learning curve any easier by leading with "potty". It is "toilet training". Everyone needs to grow up and understand that the toilet is here to stay. And, if you don't train properly, you are going to be left in the dust, like me when I lose to 9-year-old girls and grandfathers.

Our 2-year-old likes to procrastinate toilet time by announcing "2-minutes". Now, this is absurd on 2 accounts. One, she can't tell time. Two, she makes no commitment to not peeing her pants during this untimed procrastinaton. It frustrates everyone except her. And that really is what toilet training comes down to: the day you realize that peeing your pants is no longer worth it. I truly believe every human being does a pros/cons analysis as a child. And until the cons outweigh the pros, we pee our pants. And we smile. Which leads me to my final point.

Smiling is the way to go. When you are toilet trained and able to reflect back, there is a whole lot to be grateful for. My pros greatly outweigh the cons. Johnstown's pros greatly outweight the cons.

And when I was a 2-year-old, there was no Internet. There was no place to blog. I am grateful for the opportunity to share my life and share some positivity via the World Wide Web, but I recognize how negative this way of communicating has become.  If you are going to post, do it like a pro. Run with the positive pack. Making rude comments on the Internet is much like peeing your pants. It's messy. It's self-fulfillling. It needs to change (pants included).

Tonight, I hope my girls sleep well and dream big. I'll encourage them to not stand on the toilet seat when they brush their teeth.

Goodnight, Johnstown. Encourage on.

"No, thank you" to negativity.