The 2024 summer has been a scorcher and I guess you could say, "extreme", in terms of temperature. We, the humans, have a history of using the word "extreme" when it comes to a little bit of everything from heat to cold to views to candies - I'm talking about you Warheads. Centuries of adventurers made their mark by going to extremes, from climbing the highest heights to descending into the darkest depths. Cave dwellers clumsily walked back into the cave after a sun blasted day. Cooled coves provided refuge for voyagers torched from a day on the water. Throughout all of our history, we have needed the sun's power and the shade's relief.
In honor of the sun and the shade, here are some of our brightest and coolest moments this July. Read with caution. I write some burns. If you can't take the heat, get off the blog. And away...we...go!
The day after our nation celebrated its Independence, I found myself on a humid golf course in a scramble format. My playing partners were my wife, father, and father-in-law in an annual search for birdies. As the humdity increased, we suffered bogeys. My wife was succumbing to the heat, demanding to know who chose 18 as the optimal amount of holes in the ground for this sport.
It was not me, honey.
None of this is noteworthy as my wife has always said that six holes is her maximum attention span for golf. Also, not noteworthy is the fact that we did not birdie many holes. We never do. We are not good at golf. What is interesting is that a giant snapper turtle, a prehistoric looking beast, was observed on a grassy golf knoll on this day. A friend got a picture of this monstrous reptile. The snapper looked much like our presidential candidates - old, confused, and needing somewhere to go, preferably away. Not exactly sure why this turtle presumably left his pond to feel the heat, but I admired how ancient and intimidating he looked. I hope he found his home. He has my vote.
Three days later, my youngest daughter and I attended the Cambria County Library's educational session on turtles. In an air-conditioned community room, kids responded with hot-aired-hysteria for up close and personal shelled friends. The library's SummerQuest adventure programs continue to provide family fun where there is no time for division or debate. The most controversial moment was when one of the turtles shot out a lighting bolt of urine onto a smartly placed tarp. Airborne turtle pee?...and the crowd goes wild! Cheers to the Blair County Conservation District for the turtle talk and theatrics.
Later that week, it was another sizzler. And the Johnstown Mill Rats decided to beat the paint out of the Chillicothe Paints. Final Score: 17-0, which reads more football score than baseball scoreboard. The Rats scored 11 runs in a marathon 5th inning. The Chill could not cool off the Rats' bats. The Paints were drying out in the outfield as the Rats ran wild. Legend has it that Bob Ross beamed down from the sun and turned the Paints bats into brushes. You had to be there. We played on the field after the Mercy Rule Win in a sweaty free-for-all.
Rest in Peace, Paints.
Rest in Peace, Bob, you legend.
And while Mill Rats game are fun in the sun, I need to exercise my temple so I don't end up looking like that snapping turtle. In the heat bomb that has been July, my bicycle has been favorable transportation. One particular day this month, I loaded all the bikes into the Subaru, sweating profusley and passionately for my daughters and wife. The Outback had 4 bikes, 4 helmets, 4 water bottles, a pump, scattered hair ties, and a hammer, because you just never know.
When we got to our destination for Tour De Cambria City, I already looked like I did a workout yet was inspired by our family together. I was ready to wheel us to greatness.
I got a flat tire in the first 100 yards.
Imagine a rejected father pushing his bicycle back to the Subaru. He is sad. You can hear the air going out of his front tire and his face. Imagine his family pedaling on, forever thankful for the man who made this all possible. It is sunny and so damn hot.
My heart and tire are now repaired. I completed a solo bike ride the morning before this blog, trying to beat the heat. I recommend riding through the Staple Bend Tunnel to feel a truly extreme temperature difference. The "real feel" from trailblazing to tunnel was amazing and refreshing.
From the course to the library to the stadium to the trail, we are sun powered. Whether you are seeking it or trying to escape it, we are in this together. Respect the turtles and their silent approach. Watch out for foul balls and foul mouths. Pump up your tires with gratitude.
Keep cool, Johnstown.
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