2018: Parent and Pray

On the first day of 2017, I had one daughter and killed a deer with my Subaru.  On the first day of 2018, I had two daughters and zero kills. The stress level was about the same. Welcome to parenting.

Before and after this New Year, I found myself in the company of parents much like me - husbands and wives in their 30s, trying to sort through the madness. On December 27th, my wife and I had dinner with two other couples at Rizzo's in Windber. Without our kids, we talked mostly about our kids. On New Year's Eve, my wife and I  went to a friend's house and all the kids were there - 6 of them between the ages of 3 months and 3, produced by 4 different couples.

My resolution this year is this - I want to be a good husband and father. I want to stay connected to those other parents in their 30s. We are like wolves. We travel in packs and howl at the moon because our kids won't go to bed.

At Rizzo's and my friend's house, this is what I learned.

1. Dinner without your kids is weird.

Once you are accustomed to eating while holding, feeding, or entertaining your kids, eating without them is bizarre. You don't know what to do with your hands. It's hard to find a posture that actually feels comfortable. I'm used to getting up 13 to 14 times during a meal. How am I supposed to sit here the entire time with the luxury of both of my arms?

2. Talking about pregnancy can happen at anytime.

I realized this the moment I started talking about childbirth on New Year's Eve. It was with two other Dads and we were watching hockey. Go Pens.

3. There is comfort in knowing someone else sleeps poorly.

You never want a friend to be sleep deprived. That's not friendly.  But, it is nice knowing someone else is staring at the ceiling at 3:00 A.M.

4. School is scary.

Scary in the sense of expensive and confusing. How much will college cost in 15 years?  What is common core math?  Can I opt out of common core math and live an uncommon, mathematical life? I'm putting this out there and one day my kids can read it - I hated math class. But, girls, if you can get a college scholarship doing math, love it. Love that math.

5. Dad pain is real.

It's in the back, head, knees. It's all over. During a colossal clean up effort on New Year's Eve, a 3- year-old launched a puzzle out of a fire station (not a real fire station). It hit me in the shin. It really did hurt. I didn't say anything. I just sat there for a second. I focused on breathing, like they taught us in pregnancy class.

6. Swaying becomes natural.

Standing still is a lost art for the 30-something parent. Church is usually where the swaying intensifies, but it evolves into a universal phenomenon. Try to Snapchat a parent standing still. Your phone will die before you find one.

7. Midnight means nothing.

Whether it's the 1st of the year or your typical Thursday, midnight holds no significance. It's just another cycle on the clock. Yes, we let the kids do a countdown and pretended it was midnight. It was actually about 8:30. Happy It's Still 2017!

8. Planet Earth is awesome.

Every night for the past two weeks, I put my children to bed and get super pumped to watch the second installment of Planet Earth, the breathtaking documentary series, currently on Netflix. And every night, I fall asleep in some mesmerizing moment in Mother Nature. My eyes close in the rain forest. Two hours later, I'm on a mountain and have no idea what time it is.

9.  Planet Earth is better than having a pet.

My family has no pets at this time. I love dogs and would one day think of getting one, but this is not that day or year. I listened to other parents talk about their pets while their watching their kids. Even as they talk about their pets, they are potentially losing track of their kids.  I don't want to imagine a world where I have to let the dog out after the kids go to bed. I just want to watch a lion hunt a giraffe and call it a day.

10. Parent and Pray.

God is good and being a parent is great. It's the craziest, most challenging, mind bending thing I've ever done.

Time to sleep to Planet Earth. Goodnight, Johnstown. Make 2018 your best year ever. Or, maybe, just take it one day at a time.