Nincompoop November

 Each day we try to take a moment and express gratitude. This family practice has occurred at the dinner table, at bedtime, and frankly anytime when opportunity strikes or memory serves. Recently, when asked the "What are you thankful for?"question my 3-year-old said without hesitation and with conviction...

"I am thankful for nincompoops."

And a blog was born. Here is the Top 10 Nincompoop Moments of this November:

#10  Hardhead Hardware

Last week I went to a hardware store to buy light bulbs. This was a welcoming opportunity to illuminate my social life. In 2020, light bulb shopping classifies as a social event. I got to converse with a teenage cashier. He asked me, "Do you want a bag?"  I said "Yes" with a little bit too much enthusiasm, as if I had been cave dwelling and this was my first light bulb. Then, I said something that I immediately regretted. After he bagged my bulbs, I blurted out, "AWESOME!"

Walking out, I was overcome with embarrassment. Did I just give a creepy smile to a high school kid, exclaim "AWESOME" and go on my merry way with fresh light bulbs? 

I was left to wonder what that kid thought of me and what has 2020 done to all of us. 

#9  The Zoom Boom 

On some weekdays, our 5-year-old is zooming from 8 to 10 A.M. Then, my 3-year-old zooms from 10:00 A.M. to 11:00 A.M. Then, my 5-year-old re-zooms at 11:00 A.M. Meanwhile, we, the parents, are attempting to eat/work/live/teach/battle. Our dining room is a minefield of worksheets, folders, crayons, scissors, snacks, passwords, glue sticks, actual sticks, and angst. We also received notice that our 5-year-old is expected to wear her uniform Monday-Thursday for Zoom academia. 

And to that I said profanity. 

#8  Casper Prayers     

At some point this year, we acknowledged that Casper the Friendly Ghost was eating supper with us. Since then, we pretend to hold his hand and allow him to join in giving thanks. 2020, the year of poltergeist prayer. Correction - we don't pretend to hold Casper's hand. We hold Casper's hand. Cold as ice. 

#7  Shawnee Showdown

On a gorgeous November Saturday, our family of four traveled to Shawnee Park in Bedford County. We participated in an impromptu 2-on-2 football game on the sand. Dad and 3-year-old vs. Mom and 5-year-old. There were illegal blocks, false starts, and a hip injury (Mom) that did not require medical attention because there was no one to give medical attention. 

Everyone won. Immediately after, I went for a run and left my ailing wife with our children. Survival of the fittest.  

#6   Bison Boom

On the way home from the Shawnee expedition, we stopped to see bison in Schellsburg. I believe there was a part of each us that wanted to run with the bison. To roam free, free from distancing and disease. Susceptible to trampling or being charged yet free. 

Maybe I was the only one daydreaming union with the bison. 

#5  Gutter Check 

My wife held the ladder while I cleaned the rain gutters. I cleared debris. While executing my task, she asked me if I cleared a path so the rain spout could do its job. I was perturbed by the question. "I'm not up here painting the Sistine Chapel." 

At no point did I say "AWESOME" when cleaning the gutters. 

#4  Gut Check 

My wife and I attended an outdoor mass at Our Mother of Sorrows on a November Sunday. Our children stayed at their grandparents' sanctuary. The sun shined on a socially distanced lawn of Christians. I admired a family of 5 as they prepared for mass. Lawn chairs folding. Conversing. Children crawling on grass. And then, the Dad almost tripped on one of the crawlers. It was a Looney Tunes sequence where the Dad buckled and then did this heroic Dad acrobatics to avoid crushing his offspring. Blindside shot from a toddler. 

I prayed for them and was grateful that our kids were not with us. Amen. 

#3 Sic'em on a Chicken

There is a song by Zac Brown Band called Sic'em on a Chicken. It is a ballad, a power ballad, on the pursuit of a chicken. We've summoned this song in times of need. Under the light of the moon and the warmth of a fire, we danced wildly on our back patio to Sic'em on a Chicken. 

A family of 4 brought to life by a song describing the death of a chicken. 

#2  Zimbabwe 

I have an alter-ego named Professor Diddums. I have been making up educational lessons for my girls since March when the virus hit the fan. I had to step my game back up in November after months of relying on traditional schooling. I was particularly proud of my lesson plan centered on the letter "Z". We learned about zebras, our 12th President Zachary Taylor (was not a Republican or a Democrat), and we each colored the national flag of Zimbabwe. 

Take that Zoom. While you locked us in our house, we learned that Zimbabwe is landlocked. Eat your heart out. 

#1  Happy Thanksgiving 

My 3-year-old does not know what nincompoop means. It is a funny word and who knows where she first heard it. She does have an understanding of what happy means. I hope her growing brain is full of happy moments from 2020. I think we have done our best to emphasize happiness and gratitude. We will Sic'em on a Turkey this Thursday. 

And if the 4 of us are together, I'll be happy. 

Happy Thanksgiving, Johnstown. 

Express gratitude daily - somehow, someway.