Top 10 Books 2021

My daughters were both back in school this month for the first time since Halloween. To celebrate education, here are my Top 10 Books of the Year in no particular order:

10:  The Complete Runner's Day-By-Day Log 2021 Calendar 

Over a decade ago, I impulse bought a red running calendar written by Marty Jerome. This was back when walking through the mall was cool. Amazon was a mere river in South America. I have a stable of red runner's calendars documenting my physical fitness; from heroic years in my 20s to rough and tumble years in my 30s. The cover is always red and features human legs. This year's edition has a woman's legs and her torso. Marty never shows the runner's face. All of Marty's cover photos are of individuals in the Witness Protection Program. 

And for witnessing, I hope no one captured my last run. It was this week in Cambria City on a brisk winter's morn. The blast of cold air united with the breeze from the Stonycreek. Pumping my arms across the river's bridge, my feet floated on a thin layer of snow. I looked up and got lost in the clouds. A wintry sun greeted me. I breathed in my hometown..

And then I slipped on ice and crashed onto my buttocks. JWF industries surveillance footage might have my body going Looney Tunes onto the pavement. 

Marty's first question in his 2021 book: "Can you outrun your own biology?"

Um...apparently not, Marty.

9. Animal Coloring Book: Packed With Animal Facts

Coloring might be more my speed. The 2020-2021 interrupted school year was an invitation for homebound creativity. A single Animal of the Day lesson plan ignited a zoological conquest. For my daughter's 6th birthday, my wife helped me order this high class coloring book off of South America's largest river. For 2021, we have 100 animals to learn about. We also have a copier machine so everyone in our family can color each animal. We have a copier machine in our bedroom. We have a copier machine in our walk-in closet. We have a copier machine on top of a folding table in our walk-in-closet. My wife has a home office in our bedroom with a copier machine on top of a folding table in our closet. My wife put up a curtain so she can work out of our walk-in closet. 

Sometimes I don't even know she is in there. 

"Excuse me honey, sorry to bother you...can you make 3 copies of this Komodo dragon?"

8. How to Fight A Bear...And Win

My brother-in-law plays to my strengths. He and his wife got me this survival book and a wealth of products for my beard. If a bear attacks me this year, not only will I know what to do but my beard will smell damn good. 

The book starts with this line from Teddy Roosevelt: "There were all kinds of things I was afraid of at first, ranging from grizzly bears to mean horses and gunfighters. But by acting as if I was not afraid I gradually ceased to be afraid."

I responded with: "I fear not the bear for the bear fears my beard"

7. Who's Who In the Zoo

My mother frequently gifts my wife random items often in the categories of clothing, beauty, or grocery. I rarely get such gifts. A body wash here or there. Maybe a bottle of Aleve if I disclose an ailment. But, over Christmas, I got a real gem. She delivered me this 1937 hardback. I believe the discovery was from a neighbor. Knowing the wildlife wonderland I had created, she was spot on when donating this book to the cause. 

My favorite chapter so far is the 3rd animal identified in "Primates". It is the Orang-Utan. Not Orangutan. Apparently in 1937, zoologists were not ready to commit a full word to this creature. This is how I imagine the conversation:

(swampy coastal forest, location unknown)

Man 1: "What is that? I've never seen anything like it!"

Man 2:  "A new species! We shall toast tonight!

Man 1: "What shall we name this joy of the treetops?"

Man 2: "How does Orangutan sound?"

Man 1: "Stupendous!...is that with a hyphen?"

Man 2: "Well, I do believe so! The Orang-Utan!"

The book also claims I can refer to the Orang-Utan as the "Wild Man of Borneo". 

Ok, now we are getting a little carried away. 

6. The 50 States

This colorful gigantic book is a dream for adult and children travelers. Since our travel adventures have been limited over the last 12 months, we have booked flights across the country in this cartoonish summary of our nation. Our kids know less about the division that exists in those 50 states and more about the unique landscape and history of those places on the map. My wife and I reman steadfast in our quest to experience all 50 of those states. 

Travel may be delayed. Teaching our kids never stops. 

Tonight they are sleeping at my wife's cousin's house. 

Correction - teaching timeout tonight. 

5. The Nature Principle: Reconnecting with Life in a Virtual Age

While in a book store in Virginia, this book found me; green cover, ladybug on a leaf. And this line might speak to me more than any other: 

"Spending time in nature, particularly in wilderness, can pose physical dangers, but rejecting nature because of those risks and discomforts is a greater gamble."

Bring on the bears. 

4. Vet Academy

My 6-year-old has veterinarian aspirations. I love animals too, but I don't do graphic scenes; I almost passed out when my wife got the epidural. Never had the veterinarian call. 

This paperback is full of facts and activities for future vets. From treating animals on the farm to the zoo, it is powerhouse prose. It also has stickers, which spices up any and all literature.

Currently, we have 34,567,234 stickers in our house. 

3. Disney Ideas Book

We began 2020 in Disney. In 2021, we have this book. Less thrilling, less expensive, no lines. We can make Zootopia Balloon Faces, Winnie the Pooh Party Hats, and Alice in Wonderland Playing-Card Costumes. 

My wife volunteered to lead these projects while I am hunting bear in Stackhouse Park. 

2. Dapper Animals Coloring Book

My mother did gift me something else. It was this sophisticated adult coloring book. This book is coloring royalty. There is a picture of a cow wearing a fancy hat with the quote, "Fashions fade, style is eternal." How about a giraffe in a bowtie with the caption, "Attitude is everything."

And on wintry weekend nights, you will find me coloring Dapper Animals. 

Rough and tumble years. Rough and tumble years.

1. The Bible

I have been reading the Psalms to start 2021. The four word line, "I FEAR NO DANGER" in Psalm 23 is my 2021 slogan. Not bears, not Orang-Utans, not ice, not aging, not my walk-in-closet that you can't walk into anymore..nothing. 

Cheers Johnstown. Read on.