Finding Balance

 On the second Wednesday of March our family of four discovered Balance Restaurant. We have been there before, so I guess we rediscovered Balance; however, this was our first trip since this virus thing took over the world. We learned a lot. A Top 10 a lot...

#10: We are not ready. 

Our girls, our precious children, have lost the ability to function in a restaurant. They cannot be blamed. We, thy parents, cannot be blamed. Covid-19, you can be blamed. It is as if cavewomen came out of the cave for the very first time. They take off their masks and the touching and talking is immediate. And my wife and I just start moving objects on the table like it is high speed checkers. Meanwhile, we can only see the eyes of a masked waiter.

There is fear in his eyes. Pure fear. 

#9: Don't put your mouth on that. 

This was the CDC's first recommendation. It is every parent's nightmare demand. It is fruitless and it is said way too many times before fruit ever reaches the table. Thankfully, we had the one and only table near the entrance. Open air onto Main Street allowed our kids to perform street magic. And by street magic I mean they moved away from the table and were being weird on the sidewalk of Main Street. But, at least, they weren't touching anything, except each other and the pavement. 

We beckoned the waiter. 

#8. When life gives you lemons. 

My wife and I love Balance's lemon parm Brussel sprouts. You know you are getting old when sprouts take you to paradise. "Waiter, I've not been in public for quite some time and my children are most likely going to pull the fire alarm, bring me your finest sprouts!"

We made the mistake of allowing our girls to share a lemonade. That was like handing each of them a grenade and saying, "Go have fun."

#7: Sneak attack.

During the first female led trip to the bathroom, I had the table to myself. I pondered life mysteries with my back toward downtown Johnstown. Suddenly, a man blurted out a question related to my hoodie, which he obviously read from his passerby point of view.

I had no idea there was a human being behind me. Buddy, this is no time for a press conference about the origin of my hoodie. 

I almost peed my own pants. 

#6: I Spy.

The game "I Spy" always provides temporary relief. Imagine being in a bunker and bombs are exploding all around you. Now, imagine being in a bunker, bombs are exploding all around you, and your kids have forks. And they are hallucinating on lemonade. All you can do is find something purple and pray. 

#5: Are we getting dessert?

My 6-year-old had the audacity to ask this before we even ate dinner. Her little sister drooled in support of the question. I don't think I even answered the question. I just got up and took my first bathroom break. 

I walked slowly. 

#4: The Limbo

Based off of the geography of our seating, it was natural to do the limbo under the gate separating the sidewalk from the restaurant. I know one of the things I've missed the most during the pandemic has been not being able to limbo. Don't you yearn for the days when two people could hold a stick less than 6 feet apart? Your friends could breathe and laugh all around, over, and under that stick... 

Getting back to normal people, getting back to normal...

#3: Capture the Moment.

At one point, I took a picture of my 3 leading ladies who were seated and zested by lemons. Right as I took the picture, a waiter (not our waiter) walked by in the background. The photo perfectly captures him in the distance. He is masked and looking directly at the camera.

It is the perfect pandemic family photo. 

#2: Check, please.

The best part about saying "check please" is knowing you don't have to do the dishes. I don't care how much this costs or how chaotic this has been, I know I am not washing a single dish. There have been ultra low points during the pandemic including the dreaded dish wash with dry hands. You have washed your hands so much throughout the day, dish washing is physically painful. It has always been emotionally painful, but now it really hurts. Yes, sanitizer has sanitized your hands, but you have lost a layer of skin in the process. 

#1: Together in warm weather. 

It got close to 60 degrees on this March day. It is still winter. We are still in a pandemic. Balance still has great food. We still have each other. 

Support local, Johnstown. Thanks, Balance. 

Dad Movie Review: Tom and Jerry

There is no way on God's green Earth that I am going to give a negative film review. The fact that I was in a movie theatre on March 6, 2021 was like winning the lifetime achievement award at the Oscars. I had not been in a theatre since Sonic the Hedgehog. 

Yes, folks, I hope one day my pandemic life will be defined by the trials and tribulations between Sonic and Tom and Jerry. Watching the movie at Westwood Plaza Theatre and Cafe, it was a reminder of how far we have come and how much farther we have to go. 

In the early 1940s, Pearl Harbor was bombed, Mount Rushmore was completed, and Tom Cat began a decades long chase of Jerry Mouse. While pandemic life has felt much like being bludgeoned with an animated mallet, it is important to travel back to the era when we welcomed Tom and Jerry. There was World War II. Jonas Salk did not discover the polio vaccine until 1953. Brown vs. Board of Education would not be ruled until 1954. War...disease..injustice...Tom and Jerry.  

Sound familiar?

In 2021, Tom faces a familiar foe, Jerry, as we face an equally familiar adversary - ourselves. Now, Tom and Jerry absolutely do not model how to resolve conflict. They rely on nonverbal ridicule and violence; however, they are blessed with the inability to speak, so they do avoid the verbal ridicule trap. Every generation that has watched Tom and Jerry has lived through something; survived something; had some sort of mallet bludgeoning. We are often conflicted. 

The next generation has been awarded an arsenal of capability through innovation, technology, and the wealth within these United States. On a recent family outing to Johnstown's Heritage Discovery Center, I was reminded of how an immigrants' journey to our shores was full of hardship and heartache. Perseverance was a necessity. There was no Instagram; no instant gratification; uncertainty around every corner. 

And for and hour and a half this Saturday, I knew around every corner, Tom would be after Jerry. Their feud has been going on for 80+ years. But, through all that cat and mousing, they somehow find common ground. Saturday's matinee ending was predictably happy. 

And that's all that really matters. The relevance is not in the plot, but in the product. Tom and Jerry gave my kids an animated escape and a reentry into the magic of the movies. It gave this Dad an opportunity to think of everything that has transpired since that blue hedgehog sprinted onto the big screen.  

I recommend Tom and Jerry. More importantly, I recommend that we all move toward a healthy Spring when Mother Nature will provide us visible growth. A kaboom of bloom. Uncertainty shall remain yet I am certain communities can come together by taking small steps. Imagine if kindness defined the new-normal; if every post was positive; if Tom and Jerry still can provide the next generation of kids with what matters most...

Hope. 

February Funnies

Each and every February, I loathe February. The 2021 February is the harshest of my existence. It is pandemic. It is frigid and it is icy. Despite being the shortest of thy months, it has persisted. Thus, the Top 10 to laugh off the calendar year's most miserable mother...

#10: Freezing Yard Signs

No matter your political view, I no longer need to view your yard sign. It is collapsing. It is adorned with icicles. It's only representation at this point is laziness. Take it down. Free the soil from the entrapment of politics. 2024 will come soon enough. God help us all. 

#9: Mask Fails

I've dropped my mask in muck this month. I've left it for dead in the snow. I've lost it and realized it was hanging on my right ear. I've sworn at it in a parking lot. My wife has yelled from the stoop, "Do you have your mask?" And I've turned back in silence, yet forever thinking, "God help us all". 

#8: Senior Sid

In one of the year's most social events, I watched a Pittsburgh Penguins game with my father at his humble abode. It was Sidney Crosby's 1000th game as a professional ice hockey player. He skated, maskless, to his girlfriend, masked, during the pre-game ceremony. He smiled bigged. She masked big. They watched a montage of his glory. He was teary eyed .She was eyed.  Then, he skated to his masked teammates. He, maskless, took a photograph of his legacy with his masked family. Then, everyone, took their masks off, breathed all over each other, broke six feet of distance, and gave my father and I an escape from the world. 

#7: Mars Landing

When I heard we landed on Mars, I asked the following questions:

1) Why?

2) Do extraterrestrials have antibodies?

3) Do Martians wear masks?

#6: Girl Scout Zoom

My 6-year-old initiated her scouting career just how I imagined: she was on Zoom while I was eating a hamburger. While she repeated the pledge, I repeated French fries to my face. My 3-year-old demanded that I wrestle post-hamburger as this initiation was dull.  I obliged like a good Girl Dad. Just deliver the Samoas and let's be done with it.

#5: Oh Tree

We never took down our Christmas tree. My 6-year-old asked why we don't get a real tree for Christmas. My response was because we now have the luxury of never taking down our tree. It was a lover's conifer in February. It will be a Saint Patrick's day beacon in March. It will be a pow-wow-wow pastel in April. 

Our evergreen shall be ever green. 

#4: Frosty Diet

During a recent outdoor adventure, two Dads and four daughters built a snowman. I was one of the Dads. All the daughters did minimal work. Due to the rigors, our snowman was more pencil, less plump. The final product looked like a Peleton snowman. We took a picture looking directly into the sun. Dads had sunglasses. The daughters looked like children demanded to take a picture under a blinding sun.

#3: Friday Night Lights

On most February Fridays, my parents visited to share a meal and memories. We discuss pre-pandemic times and a maskless future. We sometimes played games. We never talked about Mars because we live on Earth. We have questioned whether Pluto is a planet. I then questioned why do we even worry about whether Pluto is a planet. It absolutely is a dog. God help us all. 

#2: Basement Bomb

In March 2020, we hosted a birthday party for our Saint Patty's day daughter. It was the last true green celebration we had in our home. Since then...oh dear. It looks like a hurricane ripped through a flea market. It looks like a nervous breakdown. It is 2020-2021. There are still pictures hanging from our daughter's 3rd birthday party. 

We decided to celebrate her 4th birthday at Ryan's Artisan Goods. One, because we love that place. Two, because we need to get out or her 5th birthday party is going to be on the street. 

#1: Every Morning

One of my favorite quotes comes from the late great Henry David Thoreau: "Every morning was a cheerful invitation". That simple declaration speaks to my head and heart. I welcome the warmth of March; the promise of Spring; the splendor of sunshine. 

No matter the road ahead, there is a road. I am grateful to travel with my loving wife and two dynamite daughters. 

We explode out of this month into the next. 

Love and laugh, Johnstown.

Goodnight and goodbye February. 

.

Stackhouse Park Groundhog Day Challenge

 In all the years of blogging, Stackhouse Park might be my most featured public place. I have always felt connected to the park. Growing up in Westmont and now residing in Brownstown, the park connects the boroughs that have shaped my life; the churches that have been a part of my spiritual journey are accessible by Stackhouse trails. And now, I am a board member for my home away from home. 

The circle of life.

So, here is the challenge on this Groundhog's Day. I am calling all my family, friends, blog fans, nature lovers, and my fellow Americans to consider becoming a contributing member to Stackhouse. It is a park powered by community support. If you are viewing this blog via Facebook, you shall see links to how you make a footprint for the future of those trails. Contributions can come in the form of...

Lifetime Membership: Dog

One of my greatest adventurer pals was my faithful pooch, Ralph. I have miles upon miles of memories with him, exploring the Stackhouse terrain and chasing critters. Luckily, he entrusted me as his sole beneficiary when he adventured on to canine heaven. My $50.00 contribution to Stackhouse entitles Ralph to post-mortem trail runs and treats for all of eternity. If you own or owned a dog who wants to join Ralph, he is willing to run in a pack and he was a nonconfrontational mutt when he roamed Earth. I would imagine angelic Ralph is even more lovable. 

As of tonight, Ralph earned his lifetime membership. Congrats, my old friend.  

Membership: Family

Our most attended adventure park as a family is Stackhouse. From identifying trees to American Ninja Warrior stunts at the playground to vines swings to picnics to 5Ks, we are a Stackhouse family. For $35.00, we pay back the place that has gifted us with play dates, buddy hikes, and above all, the landscape to teach our kids that the greatest teacher of all is Mother Nature. 

And there are plenty more ways to contribute..individual, friend, senior. Ultimately, supporters of Stackhouse Park are all believers; believing that the park helps build the community; provides a place to journey physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually; helps a younger generation get away from this darn computer; helps us adults stay young at heart.

Join my family and Ralph. 

Adventure on, Johnstown. 

Darn groundhog. 

https://cfalleghenies.fcsuite.com/erp/donate/create?funit_id=2815  (online contribution through the Community Foundation For the Alleghenies)

https://www.stackhousepark.com/memberships.html  (printable membership form)

Silly and Sweet

 Much like its predecessor, 2021 has been a blend of silly and sweet. One month into the journey, here is a review of the most memorable ingredients in the 2021 blender:

Sweet

Two weeks before last Christmas, my wife gifted me a haircut. This was the ultimate gesture in the new normal. I was gifted the opportunity to be publicly groomed. When she told me my appointment was set and I was to enjoy self-care, my mind almost exploded. What had 2020 done to me? I was emotionally charged up to be free from home and work in any capacity. 

I strutted into Noble Haircuts disheveled. My hair and beard were a crossfire of color; a mix of brown, red, and silver. It was as if every species of fox surrounded my face. This is when I met Olivia. Noble had recently just opened. This was her first day working for this establishment. It felt like my first day in a public forum of any kind. 

Needless to say, it was a great experience. I returned this week to get spruced up. The beauty of the haircuts and the beard basking has been not only the enhancement of my physical appearance, but the emotional benefits of human interaction. The awkwardness and randomness of meeting others; connection by conversation; allowing a stranger to use a sharp object dangerously close to my jugular and be relaxed to the max. 

Thank you, wife. Thank you, Olivia. Thank you, Noble.

Always thank your wife first. (Fox beard cleverness)

Silly

During the pandemic, my wife and I have made late night escapes. I would classify it as guilty pleasure if I felt guilty. In 2021, we started The Americans, a FX spy thriller that ran from 2013-2018. The plot has us travel back to the 1980s. After surviving the nightly war that is our daughters' bedtime, the Cold War is ours. Mother Russia. The United States. The decade we were born. 

Majesty.

Every time the theme song plays at the beginning of each episode, I do a blustering dance that makes my wife laugh. The dance is a celebration of my flexibility and fatherhood. 

The girls are asleep. I am alive. Adrenaline in my veins.

20-30 minutes after the dance, I fall asleep. 

We are on Season 2. There are six seasons. At this pace, we will be wrapping up the series around Easter. 

Silly

Here is a conversation that recently played in my imagination between the Easter Bunny and the Trix Rabbit:

Easter Bunny:  "What are you doing here?"

Trix Rabbit: "Just wanted to point out that you said we would be back to normal by Easter...last year"

Easter Bunny: "I NEVER said that. It must be easy selling cereal. I'm responsible for an entire holiday."

Trix Rabbit: "Well, no one is going to want to take pictures with you this year. One, because of fear. Two, because of bitterness."

Easter Bunny: "Has anyone ever wanted to take pictures with you?...that's what I thought."

Trix Rabbit: "Well bunny, Trix are still for kids. Not sure if the Easter bunny can claim that..."

Easter Bunny (middle hare finger)

Sweet

My 6-year-old brought home a drawing from school that was completed during free art. It was an opportunity to color whatever the heart desired. She drew a picture of me, my brother, and my once faithful dog Ralph. It is an awesome work of art.

Today when I took a Stackhouse hike on snowy trails, I enjoyed the solitude and silence. I passed an older couple walking their pooch. On a 3.6 mile journey, they were the only people that served as passerby. The woman looked at me and said, "You look like someone who could use a big dog".

I smiled and kept marching on. I imagined Ralph running those trails. I remembered my daughter's picture. 

Sometimes I feel the most connected in moments of solitude in Mother Nature.

Silly

While I was using the bathroom, my 3-year-old casually walked in and let me know that she was looking for me. In an unfathomable high-pitch and as calm as can be, she stated that she had the Disney trivia cards ready for me. She was courteous enough to let me know that the first question pertained to the movie Cars. She went on to describe how she believed it was most appropriate to leave the trivia cards on the sink so that I could bring them down and fulfill my responsibility as question asker. 

I remained seated and had not said anything until uttering, "Ok, thank you..."

She proceeded to slowly walk out, almost in a prance or a glide. 

"Please shut the door" I declared as she had not intention to do so.

Her response, in the highest of pitch, "SURE DAD!"

And like a ghost, she vanished. 

Silly

The pursuit of sled riding is always an adventure. It takes around 17-23 minutes to get out of the house and the actual riding of sleds lasts 13-20 minutes. Today, my wife and I found ourselves doing a double sled, screaming and filming the conquest. 

Our 6-year-old tapped out about 5 minutes prior. Our 3-year-old actually never came outside. She watched like a proud grandmother in her pajamas from the window. 

And there we were, in our 30s, zipping down the hillside. 

Freedom. Silly and sweet freedom. 

Sweet

Tomorrow brings on February. I feel lucky and blessed to have my health, family, and that freedom. The key ingredients of 2021 remain the same from 2020: faith, humor, and hope. 

Blend on, Johnstown. 

Top 10 Books 2021

My daughters were both back in school this month for the first time since Halloween. To celebrate education, here are my Top 10 Books of the Year in no particular order:

10:  The Complete Runner's Day-By-Day Log 2021 Calendar 

Over a decade ago, I impulse bought a red running calendar written by Marty Jerome. This was back when walking through the mall was cool. Amazon was a mere river in South America. I have a stable of red runner's calendars documenting my physical fitness; from heroic years in my 20s to rough and tumble years in my 30s. The cover is always red and features human legs. This year's edition has a woman's legs and her torso. Marty never shows the runner's face. All of Marty's cover photos are of individuals in the Witness Protection Program. 

And for witnessing, I hope no one captured my last run. It was this week in Cambria City on a brisk winter's morn. The blast of cold air united with the breeze from the Stonycreek. Pumping my arms across the river's bridge, my feet floated on a thin layer of snow. I looked up and got lost in the clouds. A wintry sun greeted me. I breathed in my hometown..

And then I slipped on ice and crashed onto my buttocks. JWF industries surveillance footage might have my body going Looney Tunes onto the pavement. 

Marty's first question in his 2021 book: "Can you outrun your own biology?"

Um...apparently not, Marty.

9. Animal Coloring Book: Packed With Animal Facts

Coloring might be more my speed. The 2020-2021 interrupted school year was an invitation for homebound creativity. A single Animal of the Day lesson plan ignited a zoological conquest. For my daughter's 6th birthday, my wife helped me order this high class coloring book off of South America's largest river. For 2021, we have 100 animals to learn about. We also have a copier machine so everyone in our family can color each animal. We have a copier machine in our bedroom. We have a copier machine in our walk-in closet. We have a copier machine on top of a folding table in our walk-in-closet. My wife has a home office in our bedroom with a copier machine on top of a folding table in our closet. My wife put up a curtain so she can work out of our walk-in closet. 

Sometimes I don't even know she is in there. 

"Excuse me honey, sorry to bother you...can you make 3 copies of this Komodo dragon?"

8. How to Fight A Bear...And Win

My brother-in-law plays to my strengths. He and his wife got me this survival book and a wealth of products for my beard. If a bear attacks me this year, not only will I know what to do but my beard will smell damn good. 

The book starts with this line from Teddy Roosevelt: "There were all kinds of things I was afraid of at first, ranging from grizzly bears to mean horses and gunfighters. But by acting as if I was not afraid I gradually ceased to be afraid."

I responded with: "I fear not the bear for the bear fears my beard"

7. Who's Who In the Zoo

My mother frequently gifts my wife random items often in the categories of clothing, beauty, or grocery. I rarely get such gifts. A body wash here or there. Maybe a bottle of Aleve if I disclose an ailment. But, over Christmas, I got a real gem. She delivered me this 1937 hardback. I believe the discovery was from a neighbor. Knowing the wildlife wonderland I had created, she was spot on when donating this book to the cause. 

My favorite chapter so far is the 3rd animal identified in "Primates". It is the Orang-Utan. Not Orangutan. Apparently in 1937, zoologists were not ready to commit a full word to this creature. This is how I imagine the conversation:

(swampy coastal forest, location unknown)

Man 1: "What is that? I've never seen anything like it!"

Man 2:  "A new species! We shall toast tonight!

Man 1: "What shall we name this joy of the treetops?"

Man 2: "How does Orangutan sound?"

Man 1: "Stupendous!...is that with a hyphen?"

Man 2: "Well, I do believe so! The Orang-Utan!"

The book also claims I can refer to the Orang-Utan as the "Wild Man of Borneo". 

Ok, now we are getting a little carried away. 

6. The 50 States

This colorful gigantic book is a dream for adult and children travelers. Since our travel adventures have been limited over the last 12 months, we have booked flights across the country in this cartoonish summary of our nation. Our kids know less about the division that exists in those 50 states and more about the unique landscape and history of those places on the map. My wife and I reman steadfast in our quest to experience all 50 of those states. 

Travel may be delayed. Teaching our kids never stops. 

Tonight they are sleeping at my wife's cousin's house. 

Correction - teaching timeout tonight. 

5. The Nature Principle: Reconnecting with Life in a Virtual Age

While in a book store in Virginia, this book found me; green cover, ladybug on a leaf. And this line might speak to me more than any other: 

"Spending time in nature, particularly in wilderness, can pose physical dangers, but rejecting nature because of those risks and discomforts is a greater gamble."

Bring on the bears. 

4. Vet Academy

My 6-year-old has veterinarian aspirations. I love animals too, but I don't do graphic scenes; I almost passed out when my wife got the epidural. Never had the veterinarian call. 

This paperback is full of facts and activities for future vets. From treating animals on the farm to the zoo, it is powerhouse prose. It also has stickers, which spices up any and all literature.

Currently, we have 34,567,234 stickers in our house. 

3. Disney Ideas Book

We began 2020 in Disney. In 2021, we have this book. Less thrilling, less expensive, no lines. We can make Zootopia Balloon Faces, Winnie the Pooh Party Hats, and Alice in Wonderland Playing-Card Costumes. 

My wife volunteered to lead these projects while I am hunting bear in Stackhouse Park. 

2. Dapper Animals Coloring Book

My mother did gift me something else. It was this sophisticated adult coloring book. This book is coloring royalty. There is a picture of a cow wearing a fancy hat with the quote, "Fashions fade, style is eternal." How about a giraffe in a bowtie with the caption, "Attitude is everything."

And on wintry weekend nights, you will find me coloring Dapper Animals. 

Rough and tumble years. Rough and tumble years.

1. The Bible

I have been reading the Psalms to start 2021. The four word line, "I FEAR NO DANGER" in Psalm 23 is my 2021 slogan. Not bears, not Orang-Utans, not ice, not aging, not my walk-in-closet that you can't walk into anymore..nothing. 

Cheers Johnstown. Read on. 

Peace in the Park

 Tonight our family went to Central Park in downtown Johnstown for one last hoorah for oh Christmas tree. We danced around that towering, shiny evergreen as if dancing was the only thing that mattered. 

I refuse to concede to the notion that these are "dark days". I choose to live in the light. To dance under the glow of that Christmas tree. To be a role model for my girls. To appreciate my freedom of speech yet enjoy moments of joy without having to voice anything. To go into a public place to enjoy the view instead of singularly motivated to express a view.

And defining greatness is not neccessary and utterly subjective. As a responsible adult, why not just dance. Let kids know it is perfectly ok to be vulnerable. This world is far from perfect and nothing is normal. Life is abnormal. Get use to it, mask or no mask. As my oldest daughter turns the corner to age 6, her wisdom, empathy, and curiosity continues to amaze me. 

I am grateful that during these days of light, I shared some unbelievable experiences with her. I am far from perfect yet I am grateful. Grateful that I did not waste precious time judging others entangled in a world wide web of adult arrogance and ignorance. My daughter and I reflected upon the idea of letting tomorrow worry about tomorrow. Let's be our best today. Let that curiosity parachute in each and every day. Let creativity explode. Ride a tidal wave of kindness. If you do, you will end up on the beach. If you forget about kindness, you will find yourself lost at sea. 

I challenge everyone who reads this blog to enter a park this month. Breathe in fresh air. If you are lucky enough to have the legs and lungs to walk a path, do it. There are plenty of people who don't have that fortune. Plenty of people who lost that fortune over the last 12 months. And you don't have to wear a t-shirt or hat declaring an affiliation. You don't have to pick a side. Pick a path. You don't have to protest. By keeping your thoughts to yourself, you might actually gain perspective. There is scientific evidence that suggests that simply being amongst trees is therapeutic. Watching my family dance around that tree tonight, it probably didn't look like therapy and more like lunacy. I choose to be that lunatic. That Girl Dad unafraid of hip shaking and risk taking. 

The Christmas spirit was present tonight in downtown Johnstown. It was present because of the tree. It was present because of the music. It was present because we were present. Living in a moment. Showing our kids that Christmas is not one day. It is a season. It is a celebration there for the taking. All we have to do is show up. 

And as adults, maybe we just shut up and listen. 

Maybe a curious and creative kid will teach us something.